2012: a few thoughts and a look forward to 2013

I don't have a really insightful post ready and prepared, but between a whirlwind of working, snowstorms, and baby cuddles, I thought I'd take a second to reflect on this year. And what better way than in point form.

• We started the year with a three month old baby, not really knowing what we were doing but working mainly on instincts. I quickly realized that most of what I wanted to do was along the attachment parenting style. I wouldn't say everything, but a lot of what "felt right" for us fell into that category. This brought a few raised eyebrows but mostly support from those around us. 
• I started training again for a half marathon and though I completed a pretty good race in May, I completely fell off the running wagon after and have barely crawled back on it 8 months later.
• We took a couple of fun trips with family so that more people got to meet our happy smiling baby. We went to Montreal in March to visit Kristen and to Vermont and Toronto in June. Everyone loved Zoey and she loved them. I realized that traveling with a baby was harder than I thought it would be but not impossible. Good thing she's so cute!

• Matt worked up north for two ish months and I was alone with Zoey for two weeks at a time. That was probably one of the hardest things either of us have done in a long time. I was faced with many night time challenges (like teething, gas pain and growth spurts) and Matt had to be away from his new daughter and watch me struggle from afar. There were many times where I wanted to just let her cry and cry, but at 6 months old, I just wasn't prepared to do that, so I shushed and rocked and nursed her all night. We took many late night walks to get her to sleep after me trying unsuccessfully for 2 + hours. I would lay beside her quietly once she was finally asleep, not even wanting to cough in case she woke up and I would have to start all over again. It was hard, but the payoff was worth it, and now we have a little more money (from matt!) and a baby who sleeps wonderfully through the night and wakes up happy and healthy every morning.
• My return to work in October was harder than I expected. We found great childcare, but leaving my family at home still is very difficult, even three months later. I know that this job allows me much more time at home, but it's still hard picturing Matt and Zoey at home playing without me, while I sit alone in a hotel room. I thought I'd love the time to just relax by myself and sleep alone in a huge bed, but I really just feel envious of Matt at home and wish I was there too. I'm still waiting to get part-time status, which means I have to fly 30 fewer hours, so perhaps that will make it a little more enjoyable. 

• As much as I thought I'd get back into working out hardcore, I really haven't. I struggle to make it a priority and although I feel a little guilty sometimes, I mostly am comfortable with my decisions. I've gone to hot yoga a few times, I tried out the new spin studio down the street, and I signed up for a half marathon in February that I have barely trained for. Though I enjoy it when I'm there, the cost (of the first two) and the time commitment of running just isn't easy. Zoey, now almost 15 months old, isn't super keen on hanging in the stroller for more than 30-40 minutes. That means running without her, when Matt is home, and honestly, I'd rather be at home playing with them. I know in a year or two I may feel differently, but right now I'm content with low-moderate exercise. 

• This year I am looking forward to learning how to parent a toddler and teaching her new things. I really like looking at what she is doing and seeing if I can teach her something small that can make her playtime a little more interesting. I'm not huge on teaching her random things (like what sounds animals make for example) but I like to just add a little to what she already knows. It's fun to see her kiss people good bye, clap when she hears applause, say hi when the front door opens... it's a really cool thing to see her learn at her own pace.
• I REALLY can't wait until she walks! I know I wasn't in a rush before, but now that she's heavier, I'm really ready to have her walk beside me instead of always carry her. Time will tell.
• I think this year will be full of adventure. I can't wait to see what it brings!