Sunday, October 30, 2005

The Crack Alley

Ahhhh, yes, the crack alley. What a classy joint. Located in same parking lot as Hooters, you can't really go wrong with the Back Alley. I was inocently minding my own business when my friend Vanessa tells me that we're going to the Back Alley, and that we're dressing up as construction workers.
"ummmm, okay, sounds good!" I reply.

So I rush home, grab my jeans, my runners, and a white beater and run out the door.

About 2 hours later we (me plus 5 friends) are in the parking lot, barganing with the bouncer, who is telling us that our "no-line no-cover" passes are no good. Apparently the radio man is full of shit since he told us we had to be at the bar for 9:30, but the bar tells us it's 9.

We look at the line, and there are probably 200 people in it. What to do, what to do... Naturally, we stroll on over to Hooters, pull up a stool, and order a beer. (and by beer, I mean 3 pitchers.)
(funny side story that goes with Hooters... we look at the gentleman who walked in behind us... he looks creepily familiar... who is it? We realize that he's someone from where we used to work. We say hi to him... and he informs us that he's the manager of that restaurant. It was kind of funny.)

Anyways, back to the story. So after about an hour and a half (this seems like a good time to remind you that WE'RE IN HOOTERS) we look out at the line-up for the Back Alley. It's shorter. So we go and wait in it.

After about half an hour, we get in. Well, there we are, 6 girls all wearing beaters, jeans, hardhats, tool belts, and safety goggles, and we are SURROUNDED by naughty nurses, naughty angels, naughty butterflies, naughty sluts... pretty much anything that involves fishnets and no skirt. (there was also a girl who was wearing a thong, and the rest was naked but painted as a leopard. Woah!) We were slightly out of place, but can I just tell you that we got "talked to" more than any of the naughty girls? It was pretty funny.

The voice of my mother was constantly in my head though, since guys would just walk up with a drink and give it to me, and I kept hearing her say "remember, those little pills that make girls go away with boys can be slipped in very easily!" so I would always say thanks, turn around, and put it down behind me. I also somehow managed to get a cigarette hole burnt through my shirt. How sad!

The night went pretty well... we ended up staying for QUITE a while, then slowly made our way back outside to find a cab. A couple of guys kept trying to get us to go home with them, and we'd all just laugh and turn around... do people ACTUALLY go home wtih randoms at the bar? I honestly can't believe that people do that... but that's my opinion I guess.. Unless it's your boyfriend, seriously, how great can he be if he's picking you up at the Back Alley?

ANYWAYS, we get a cab, with the nicest driver in the world. His name is Ziel, and he's doing his masters in Computer Science at U of C. He was so hysterical and we were chatting the whole way home. I like cab drivers like that! The funniest part was there was a whole huge group of people trying to get a cab, and he drove to the middle of the group and let US go in, not the naughty nurses, butterflies, sluts etc. It was great.

So I got home around 3:30 (the first one, not the second 3:30)... Woke up at 9:30 (the second 9:30 I think...) Made a smoothy, and now I have to get to work!!!

3 comments:

Dr. Papa said...

What can I say? Something tells me that in all the craziness of going out in a group and having a fair amount of beer, you still keep your head on straight.

Sure guys are going to try to take you home. You're a beatiful young woman trouping around with other beautiful young women and these guys want to be near you, with you, and hope that they can be as interesting as you.

Your "story" started out sounding like there was going to be an unhappy ending. I can see that you keep all your wits about you. As a group of friends, you support each other and ensure that you'll all be safe. Self-confidence is a wonderful thing. It allows you the strength to be yourselves without having to "please" others. You seem to realize that strength comes from inside and not from whichever young man is on your side.

You must make your parents very proud! (I happen to know that you do!) It's nice to be able to hear the stories without all the editing for parental value.

Evey said...

I went to the back alley one time when i was in Calgary for the weekend with a friend. lol. I dont remember WHY in gods name we went there....but it was always fun to tell people we got drunk in the back alley.! ha!

Hez said...

The Back Alley is the "trashy" bar in Calgary, but it's always the MOST fun! It's stupid and gross and the bathrooms are atrocious, but it's a good time, and you don't have to deal with all the 17 year olds!