I hate bathing suits (wherein I use a derogatory name for breasts a couple of times)

So I think I'm going to Orlando for Yvette's birthday... In March she's turning 21, and we decided what better way to celebrate her worldwide coming of drinking age than grabbing our significant others (I have come to terms with the fact that I have a boyfriend gentleman caller), and having ourselves a little four person celebration down in the states.

So what came to my attention by the above mentioned boyfriend gentleman caller, is that I might need a bathing suit. The only thing I have close to a bathing suit is the one I got at least one year before I was a nanny, which is quite a long time ago. And I have changed sizes just a smidge since then. So today while I was at the mall attempting to get Kristen's Whirly Pop (which I couldn't get... I'm sorry, I'm a terrible sister) I decided to try on bathing suits. Well, I was less than successful. My problem, and I'll just come right out and say it, is that I have a different size tits than ass. Am I the only girl who has this problem? I can't believe that that's the case. Anyway, on with the nightmare. So the bathing suits that come in a convenient little set (which are normally the cute ones) don't fit me, because in order to fit on top, there's a saggy little hunk of material hanging off my ass which isn't really attractive. So I try a smaller size, then my boobs are hanging out the sides, top and bottom of the top piece. What I need is the mix & match style bathing suits. Prints? UG-O. So I either need to have a 65 year old's bathing suit that fits, or some kind of material or boob hanging out of a cute print bikini. I'm going to try Bikini Village, because if I'm not mistaken they have a LOT more mix & match styles. Swimco just didn't do it for me. And surprisingly enough, I don't even hate myself in a bikini. Lately I've been having some not loving my body issues, but yeah, the whole bikini problem was all about the lame sizing and not the me puking at the sight of me in one.

So I hope I solve my problem before March, when this trip is hopefully occurring, and I can be in Orlando in a hot bikini that fits both tits and ass.

Crusty Rage

We went to the Cage last night. Always down for a good time. We missed Power Hour, but we made it worth our while to be there anyway! There was a live band (as always) who normally just play covers, but still are really good. The lead singer and the bassist are from the band Zooker Baby, which I remember to be a popular band, but upon an internet search to link their site, I came up with nothing. Anyway, if anyone remembers that band, please tell me so I don't feel so crazy.

Anyway, we had a great time, drinks were had, a little bit of dancing, and the result is a pretty sore head this morning. It was worth it though. It always is... Well except that one time that I was so sick I swore I'd never drink again, and it actually worked for about 4 months. That night of partying really wasn't worth it at all. But last night? Definitely worth it.

I don't really have anything to post about.

My life has been kinda regular for the last week or so, so I don't have any crazy stories to tell. I think I need to bust out the book I got for Christmas.

I was recently told by someone that they've never met anyone who parties as much as I do, which really made me think about how much partying I do... I didn't think I really did too much, but maybe I do! Either way, I like it, so I'm not really going to change. (I think I said "I do" way too many times in that last paragraph. No, maybe not quite too many. I DO. K, now that was too many.)

I've been flying a little, working at Starbuck's a little, sleeping, hanging out, you know. This weekend the Lethbridge crew is coming in to party, so I have no doubt that there will be a little more drunken debauchery. Hopefully some more interesting posts will ensue.

Today I think I'm going to the Asian market to get a few things... maybe some bubbles to make some bubble tea, and some other asiany foody goodness. Mmmmmmm, bubbles...

Alright, I think I might have a boyfriend. I'm in boyfriend denial. Not that I don't want this guy as a boyfriend. But seriously. "Single Heather" is fun Heather. I have to learn how to be "Single Heather" with a boyfriend. I'll have to work on that. Crap.

Take off your flip flops and suspenders

I'm pretty sure that I was still slightly intoxicated when I went to work this morning at 6 am. (The coffee work, not the flying work, don't worry.) Last night was ridiculous. $2.30 hi-balls. That's really all I need to say.

Oh, the title is a rendition of take off your pants and jacket. We said that a lot last night. (And no, Kristen, it isn't take off your jacket and pants.)

"Just so you know", you're the most annoying person I've ever met.

The end has finally come to my working marathon... I don't work anywhere for two whole days!! It's kind of weird since I have all this time on my hands, but I won't complain.

Big news, Steph is coming in this weekend from London to party a little bit... I'm pretty stoked about that. Tonight I'm going to party with Sarah since she leaves Monday for Australia for the semester. Then tomorrow, Steph gets in, Nellie's for breakfast, and drunken debauchery to follow. I have to work at 6 am on Sunday, which sucks the big one, but I'll suffer through it for partying. I'm very excited. (For the partying, not so much the early working.)

I did in fact see the Starbucks guy again. And another time. And then talked to him while I was away, and then saw him again. Oh yeah and yesterday too. I think I have the startings of a potential guy that I see often. I don't know how I feel about that. He's a great guy, really sweet, and we have lots in common. But I really am not looking for a boyfriend. But maybe I should forget about that and roll with it. I don't really want to let an opportunity to have a great guy that I see often get away because I say I don't want a boyfriend. Either way, he's nice and pretty cute. Unfortunately he's from Toronto... oh well, I won't hold that against him too much.

My last pairing was alright... I worked with an FA who was a bit.... ummm, well she said "Just so you know" almost a hundred times, which is the phrase that makes most FAs shudder. To me, she prefaced her JYSK with "so how long have you been online?" (which is FA talk for flying) and then she said "well just so you know you're not allowed to wear dark nail polish. it says so in the manual. And some FAs will bite your head off for it." Firstly, don't ask me how long I've worked here when you're about to criticize me. That's lame. Secondly, don't say just so you know. AH! Then, whatever, nail polish, whatever, supposed to be natural colour, dark purply black isn't really natural but it's cool and fierce, fine whatever. Lastly, and most annoyingly, don't say "some flight attendants will bite your head off" when YOU'RE the one who's biting my head off... Don't blame others when really it's YOU that wants to tell me off. Take ownership of your opinions. Plus most people tell me they love my nail polish, so take that and stick it up your manual. End of rant.

I hope everyone has a good weekend. I might post, might not... see how much damage the debauchery has on me.

Okay, fine, I have a crush on a gay guy. What are you going to do about it.

I'll specify that this is more an asexual brother sister crush.

So I got back yesterday from a four day, and oh my god we laughed so freaking hard the entire time. It was me, my crush, another non-women liking guy and a girl. I was uncontrollable laughing for probably 50% of the entire four days. This gay guy, who I have a crush on, is the cutest most adorable boy in the entire world... we knew we were soul mates when he sang a line from a Mary Poppins song and I sang the next line without even thinking about it. It pretty much went downhill from there. We had a lot in common and man was he so so cute. All four of us just laughed and laughed, it was such a great time. Doing the demo was more like trying not to keel over because we were laughing so hard. Oh god... so fun. Our pilots were less that great, and we kept having to pretend we had plans so that we didn't have to hang out with them. Since I was in Ottawa, I used Kristen as an excuse. I called her in the crew van, discovered she was really sick and coughy and sleepy, and so we decided not to hang out. I then muttered into the phone "ok, so now I'm going to pretend that I'm coming over so that I don't have to hang out with the pilots ok?" which one of the other FA's heard, and instantly burst out laughing. I in turn burst into hysterics myself... Then I say "ok so when do you want me to come over?" abnormally loudly over the phone, to which Kristen replies "whenever you want! oh wait? why am I pretending?" which made me laugh even harder. So the two pilots are staring at me and the other flight attendants, who caught on to my clever plan, dying of laughter. Even Kristen is laughing because she can hear all of us. Oh god the tears were streaming down my face. So freaking funny. Then when we went to hang out sans pilots we were all stealthy trying not to run into the pilots. At first I felt bad about ditching them bu then I heard them talking about how I had a nice ass in a super creepy way and then stopped feeling bad.

Today I worked at Starbuck's and we had a "borrowed partner" from an other store working with us... He walked in the door and my face instantly lit up. We are lacking in the cute single guys at our location, so having one even for a morning was a nice change. I'm thinking I might see him again.

I leave again tomorrow for four more days. I'm in Vancouver... I hope that the snow has sort of subsided so that we don't get any crazy delays. Speaking of delays, I'm watching "View From the Top" with Gwenyth Paltrow, Mike Meyers, Christina Applegate, and Candace Bergen, which for those who don't know is a movie about flight attendants. I've never seen it before, and everyone says that I need to so I'm watching it. It's really funny to see the movie version of flight attending... And it's kind of depressing to see how fancy and nice things are when my job is so not even close to as fancy. (See above note about trying to not keel over and die while doing the safety demo). It's a pretty funny movie though. Maybe one day our* company will get a little higher class... not that I don't like it, because I do, but while in Ottawa my crush and I saw a cafeteria lady cleaning up tables wearing the same uniform as we wear. Nice.

That's about it. Oh right one more thing. So on the last day of my pairing I woke up to my phone ringing. Nothing unusual, since I often get wake-up calls from the hotel lobby desk. Though when I picked it up it was my crush saying "Morning Sunshine!" I said "oh how sweet you're calling to wake me up!" He replied with "so it's 6:45" to which I replied "mother %$#@!*& christ!" since that was the time I was supposed to meet my crew in the lobby. I was not only late, but dead to the world asleep late. I don't really get how I didn't get a wake-up call though, because I know that I requested one. Whatever... Anyways, as he hung up the phone I heard him say to the crew "She'll be right down!"

I madly brushed my teeth, got dressed, surprisingly didn't forget anything and went downstairs. I greeted everyone with a huge smile and said "Good Morning! What a beautiful day!" with sideways hair and no make-up. My pilots were less than impressed and my captain even said "I'm surprised, and kind of disappointed that you weren't crying!". I did my make-up in the van on the way to the airport, my hair in the airplane bathroom, and that was that. What are you going to do right? Crying about it would be kind of stupid, and I was too busy laughing with the other FAs about me forgetting to put my bra on and having to fish it out of my suitcase on the plane to cry! Oh man... I had to sleep in one of these days!

K now for real that's it.

Milk? No milk.*

I'm leaving once again today. I feel like I maybe have spent 4 hours in my apartment in the last two weeks. I'm getting ansy to be done with this marathon of working. I figured out that I don't have a single day off in 16 days. Crappy. Oh well, hopefully I'll be rollin in the dough by the time I'm done (haha yeah right).

This morning as I'm getting to ready for work, I though "mmm, I'm going to have some breakfast." I've been excited for this breakfast for a while, don't ask me why. So I go into the fridge, and there's no milk... Boo. So I think, "Oh, I'll just make a smoothie!" So I get miscellaneous fruit from the freezer, some juice from the fridge, and add in a couple of oats for texture. Well, I'm drinking it, but it really tastes nasty. I thought I grabbed my juice from the fridge, but I actually grabbed Linda's juice which was grapefruit (which I love normally, but not mixed with the fruit I chose, mango and strawberry). So grapefruit, mango, strawberry, and some oats. Honestly, horrific. I'm still drinking it though, because seriously what else do I have? Urg I just took another sip... it tastes like chemicals mixed with gross. No more.

So that's that... nothing really special to say. Hopefully you'll all see me again, one day in the future... If you can recognize me by then.

Have a good week in the cold! I'll be in mild Ottawa. Mooohahahahha.

*That title is for Taylor.

I flew all the way to Mexico and all I got was this lousy pecan tart

Yesterday I flew to Cancun! Hot, 28 degree Cancun, where the sun was shining, the water was oh so blue, the baggage guys were wearing shorts... And I had to turn around and fly back. Back to Ottawa, where it was raining and cold, though quite nice for Ottawa in January so I shouldn't really complain. Either way, it was depressing to be there and not get to stay. To add insult to injury, the Mexican shorts wearing baggage people stole all the extra meals (on charter flights they provide meals to guests and staff), so we the flight attendants didn't get any meals. Apparently this is common in some of the charter destinations because the Mexican ground guys definitely don't get paid as much as our ground guys (since they aren't westjet, and they live in Mexico) and so they take the extra meals to give to their families (or probably just to eat themselves, I don't really know.)

On one hand, I'm all "Hey! I'm hungry and I didn't bring any food today because I knew I would be getting a meal. Give me back my food you thieves!". On the other hand, I'm all "Go ahead and take it because you're hungry and though I'm not rolling in it, you probably are way more needy than I am and go ahead and take these meals and take more!" They're even smart thieves, because before, they used to take a whole box of meals and then we wouldn't have enough for guests, we'd write it up and they'd get in trouble. Now, they figure out how many guests we have on board, and then leave just enough meals for the guests and take all the others. Since the only ones that are missing are the extras, we don't write it up and they don't get into trouble. So all I ate was a pecan tart that a guest gave me out of their meal... (don't worry it was wrapped). Even worse than flying to Cancun and not staying there was the fact that we flew out at 5:40 in the morning, which meant a 4:30 check-in. Which meant a 3:30 wake-up. So I woke up at 3:30, flew to Cancun, got robbed by the baggage guys, had a pecan tart, flew back, got back to the hotel and was sleeping by 3:30 pm.

After my nap, I walked to Kristen's, picked up Starbuck's and some bubble tea on the way, and then chilled and watched the hockey game. I ended up sleeping there since I didn't want to cab it back to the hotel after the game, so I'm here still and chillin on the couch trying to decide when to drag my lazy bones back to my hotel. I forget how much I love my sister sometimes, but last night when I decided to stay here, instead of asking her if I could stay, I just asked "do you have an extra contact case?" She said yes, and then when I went into the room to go to bed, she had cleared off the bed of all their laundry, set out some extra pjs, and made it all cozy for me! How cute! Best sister ever.

So that's that. I leave tonight, go back to Calgary tonight, work tomorrow morning at Starbie's, then leave again on Tuesday for four days. Hopefully I don't catch Jordan's flu!

It's a temporary chemical imbalance

Saw this on www.overheardintheoffice.com and couldn't resist.

Manager: Why are your eyes so red?

Waiter: I'm just really tired. Also, when I don't get a lot of sleep, sometimes I smell like pot.