Wednesday, January 31, 2007

I hate bathing suits (wherein I use a derogatory name for breasts a couple of times)

So I think I'm going to Orlando for Yvette's birthday... In March she's turning 21, and we decided what better way to celebrate her worldwide coming of drinking age than grabbing our significant others (I have come to terms with the fact that I have a boyfriend gentleman caller), and having ourselves a little four person celebration down in the states.

So what came to my attention by the above mentioned boyfriend gentleman caller, is that I might need a bathing suit. The only thing I have close to a bathing suit is the one I got at least one year before I was a nanny, which is quite a long time ago. And I have changed sizes just a smidge since then. So today while I was at the mall attempting to get Kristen's Whirly Pop (which I couldn't get... I'm sorry, I'm a terrible sister) I decided to try on bathing suits. Well, I was less than successful. My problem, and I'll just come right out and say it, is that I have a different size tits than ass. Am I the only girl who has this problem? I can't believe that that's the case. Anyway, on with the nightmare. So the bathing suits that come in a convenient little set (which are normally the cute ones) don't fit me, because in order to fit on top, there's a saggy little hunk of material hanging off my ass which isn't really attractive. So I try a smaller size, then my boobs are hanging out the sides, top and bottom of the top piece. What I need is the mix & match style bathing suits. Prints? UG-O. So I either need to have a 65 year old's bathing suit that fits, or some kind of material or boob hanging out of a cute print bikini. I'm going to try Bikini Village, because if I'm not mistaken they have a LOT more mix & match styles. Swimco just didn't do it for me. And surprisingly enough, I don't even hate myself in a bikini. Lately I've been having some not loving my body issues, but yeah, the whole bikini problem was all about the lame sizing and not the me puking at the sight of me in one.

So I hope I solve my problem before March, when this trip is hopefully occurring, and I can be in Orlando in a hot bikini that fits both tits and ass.

7 comments:

Dee said...

I have the same problem....about 2-3 sizes difference. If you check out the Bay they tend to have mix and match and once in a while the patterns aren't too bad...or the other solution I've found is to buy bottoms that fit and a halter top that has ties for the neck and back, then you can just tie them to fit perfectly.

Heather said...

Yeah the halter is what I go for, but the triangles that cover the boobs aren't the right size, so even though I can tie them up there's a lot of side boob going on. Not nice.

I'll check out the bay, though I'm guessing at this time of year they won't have loads of selection. I'll try though.

K said...

maybe you two can share...you seem to have the opposite problem. Find one you both like and pull the old switcheroo...

ps-h-mo, you still need to send me your schedule

Steph said...

I have plenty of bathing suit experience and even though I haven't had your problem in a few years I always found the best place for bathings suits is..are you ready????

WINNERSSSSS!! and they usually have a good selection year round!

--Nathan-- said...

pfft buying a bathing suit isnt hard... waist fit? ... check. cool pattern? ... check. see.. easy two step process.... girls make everything difficult.

isnt side boob in these days???

kris said...

Wow, that was insightful. I feel like we should be bff now. At the same time, I'll probably be completely averting my gaze from you the next time I see you because now that I'll be telling myself to not compare your proportions, it will be near impossible not to. Awkward.

K said...

either that or you'll be sneaking a peek to see if she found something that adequately covers her side-boob...
it's a pretty common problem actually (the two sizes, not the side boob)