Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Sad, Mad, Schocked, Blue...

I've had a very interesting day. I started the day with an e-mail from a friend telling me that an other one of our friends was in the ICU. He and I weren't super close (he is studying music at UVIC and has been for 3 years), but in high school we were friends, and we actually dated way back in Junior High. We chatted on MSN last week actually and he told me how he couldn't wait to see me when he was home for christmas. (He's actually the one who told me my eyes looked beautiful in the picture everyone hated.) So I guess he got into a skateboarding (or longboarding?) accident and he has a collapsed lung, and I think his skull is majorly fractured. I'm not really sure what else, but something like that. He is in a medically induced coma and they're slowly taking him off the meds. Apparently he's responding to reflex stuff, which is good... but really, they don't know about brain damage and stuff until he wakes up. Horrible. Like I mentioned before, he's studying music, and he's the most amazing musician... He has this raw talent on piano and trombone and he can play a jazz lic like no one else. That's the part that's scary to me... thinking about the possibility of him NOT having his musical talents when he starts recovery. So I'm looking for some pictures of us from when we were in school, because his mum is looking for some to show him to help with memory recovery. I hope I find some.

I went on with my day, since I had a meeting with a prof and then an exam... but all I could think about was him... I don't really know why this is affecting me so much, since we really haven't seen each other in over a year. But it really is... I can't understand it. I guess it's just weird to think of someone I used to be so close with, and who I just talked to, suddenly in a hospital and in a coma. It's really weird.

So whatever, I take my exam, it goes alright, then I call my friend (the one who informed me of his accident in the first place) and we talked a bit, then she tells me some MORE bad news, another guy we went to school with (she was much closer to him than I was) died last week from either an OD or a drug induced anurism (can't spell). This is the sad/mad part, since you just want to shake him for doing such a stupid thing, but he still died, and that's a tragedy. This isn't affecting me as much since we weren't too close, but it's still something that hurts people around me, and that's never fun.

Then I find out that my sister got a JOB which is SO exciting, and that makes me happy... but then I feel guilty for being happy when there's so much sad around me. I also have a shit load of homework still to do, so I have to concentrate.

Another thing that's bothering me is that this accident is affecting me so much, since like I said I haven't seen him in over a year. Why am I so sad about something that happened to someone I barely talk to? I don't know. I just am. Maybe I'm just remembering how close we used to be, or how he's the one who ALWAYS told me how beautiful I am, no matter who I was dating or who he was dating. Whenever I felt terrible or was having boyfriend troubles and felt bad about myself, he'd always say something so over-the-top mushy and cheeseball, but that still made me feel great about myself. I guess I have a right to be sad. No one can dictate my emotions, not even me!

Anyways, I'm happy about the whole happy part, and sad about the whole sad part, and apathetic about my homework situation. If I can make it through the week, I deserve a good night out to relax!


Lulu said...

hey chica - like I said earlier, the brain is an amzing thing - it can really "bounce" back - stranger things have happened.
I'm sorry about your other friend - what a tragedy, but honestly you can't dwell on the sad part - remember the good times with him - his memory deserves it.

Anonymous said...

I thought you might need some cheering up...


Think about turkey,the taste of those awesome cookies you make, christmas presents, vodka and cream soda, Willow, shooting gophers from a truck window, "1985 called, they want your shirt back", socks full of quarters, St. Isidore, Linda's engagement ring, the witch of Spanish 421... i could go on forever.